3 Things to NEVER Do While on a Date With a Celiac

Dating can be tricky at the best of times, trying to impress the other person while not seeming too eager to impress but also not so nonchalant that you seem uninterested. Hey, it’s a hard life as a single person these days, but there’s just some things that I’ve noticed (and hated) when being out with someone since my Celiac diagnosis.

  1. Never and I mean NEVER skip dinner because I “can’t eat anything”

If you decided to ask me out thinking that I’d be a cheap date from lack of meal purchasing then I am terribly sorry to disappoint. I do hope you realize that as a fully functioning human being capable of putting up with your uncomfortable first date awkwardness, I do, in fact, need occasional nourishment. No, I won’t be the best company at an all-you-can-eat Chinese buffet, but this amazing tool called Google can most likely point you in the right direction of somewhere that has food I will be able to eat. Oh and by the way, saying you’ll drop me off “before dinner time” wouldn’t be on the top of my list of most romantic gestures.

2.  No, being around people eating gluten doesn’t make me sad

So, I’ve finally convinced you that dinner out is a good idea because I do, contrary to popular belief, require food. Please do not try to order what I’m having just because it’s gluten free…. I BEG YOU. Just because you’re eating a meal that contains gluten doesn’t mean I’m sitting there staring longingly at your plate. If only I could eat that bread stick like everybody else and feel like I’m dying for the next 2 weeks! Please just order your meal and let me enjoy mine, we are there for each other’s company after all, right? I guess unless you really were here for a cheap date… sorry buddy.

3. Don’t say you can’t kiss me because you ate gluten and then do it anyway.

Yes, it’s awfully sweet of you for seeming so considerate of my health by saying you don’t want to get me sick from contamination but then you go ahead and do it anyway…Really? Because now I’m just thinking you’re an asshole. Of course I’m not going to let you go the rest of the night without kissing me but do you really HAVE to say it out loud? At least if you shut up about it I can pretend it didn’t occur to you and you can pretend you’re not making me sick to my stomach for what will feel like an eternity and we can go on our merry way. Think of it as a “Don’t-ask-don’t-tell” kind of arrangement.

Anyone have any others? I’d love to hear all the strange/crazy and of course wonderful things that you may have encountered on a date, these are just some of the ones that come to mind.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s